leave de fucking hell

從小到大, 一直也不喜歡香港. 覺得香港地太少, 人太多. 不是一個好的居住地方. 一直也希望可以離開這擠迫的城市. 但同時, 我又相信”香港是我家”, 無論我多討厭這裡, 我終歸會回來.

兒時, 我就已經決定一定要上大學. 上了大學後, 一定要當交換生, 要到外國生活讀書. 終於, 我考進大學 (雖然不是一流大學), 但我卻沒有當交換生. 因為我沒有申請. 反而, 我參加了另一個我認為更好的計劃. 這個就是AIESEC 的 IEP.

面試成功後, 便一直等待著. 而身邊的朋友大部份都已離開香港了. 只有我, 就像國際難民般, 一直還沒有國家”收留”我. 討厭香港的我簡直心急如焚. 於我的私人日記上, 頻頻出現 wanna leave de fucking hell 等字句. 而最經常出現的是 “愈發要逃離, 卻愈是困在其中.”

我為何如此討厭香港? 其實, 香港什麼都好. 但最討厭的就是人真的太多. 我討厭那種無論你走到那, 都與任何人是零距離, 肩碰肩的感覺. 每次走到人多的街上時, 我很容易發脾氣, 而且心裡還想著: “屌! 跟你很熟嗎? 幹嘛靠這麼近.” 所以啦, 如非必要, 也不要約我於旺角, 銅鑼灣等地. 我真的很怕那種侷促感和零距離的感覺.

還有, 香港夏天那又濕又熱的天氣也教人討厭. 再者, 香港人太浪費電源, 將空調的溫度調得太冷. 令室內室外的溫度相差太遠. 感覺很痛苦. 因此, 我比較喜歡留在家裡. 因為我的家是不開空調的. 吹著自然風/ 電風扇, 感覺比較舒服, 而且較為健康.

“愈發要逃離, 卻愈是困在其中” 一直也耐心等待著. 終於等到了. 雖然這個未必是最好. 但我不能再等了. AIESECERS 知道每個帳戶也有限期的. 只要能夠逃離這FUCKING HELL, 我就覺得是最好了. 而我亦計劃好, 如果真的成為”國際難民”, 沒有國家/ TN 接受我, 我會去參加澳洲或愛爾蘭的WORKING HOLIDAY VISA . 總之, 能離開香港就是最好了.

離開香港已有兩星期, 卻沒有特別想家. 但間中總會有想家的時候, 但我會認為是逼不得已, 因為這裡的情況較為特別, 這裡的EXCHANGE FIG. 超低, 基本上我可算是現時唯一一個SN. 因此, 我只會在一個人寂寞時才想家. 但不等於我想回家.

雖然我懷念香港的美食和繁囂的生活. 但我也愛這兒人煙稀少的環境.
這裡的人口跟香港一樣: 約七百萬人.

day 11

在這裡的十一天

一切安好
但總有些不習慣. (即我們所謂的文化衝擊)

這裡的人
吃得很少
而吃的都是冷的
即使是熱
對亞洲人說, 卻仍是冷

天氣很好
但有點冷及乾燥

我住的城鎮, 只有我一個中國(香港)人
很多人都會對我投以好奇眼光
因為他們從未見過亞洲人

tight schedule

Friends:
Please don’t complain on me that I refused ur date
Here’s my TIGHT schedule:
(No one force to me to do so, but I’ve to reserve at least 2~3days every week for parents, even though we have nothing to talk with. This is my principle.)

1 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: part time job

2 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: part time job

3 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: part time job

4 March
With Family

5 March
Home (rest)

6 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: with BIS, CC to buy gift for EUH

7 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: home (rest)

8 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner w/ KC and KH

9 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with EUH, AML, BIS, CC

10 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: home(rest)

11 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: with family

12 March
Daytime: Home
Nighttime: dinner with B

13 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: with family

14 March
Daytime: Labour dept.
Nighttime: with family

15 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with Canada trainee and s

16 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with uncle who I lost his contact for 10 years

17 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: home (rest)

18 March
Daytime: with Canada trainee and s
Nighttime: with 11 trainee from different countries

19 March
Daytime: war game
Nighttime: with family

20 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: with family

21 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: with family

22 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: movie with BIS and CC

23 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: transition meeting with proposed PDO

24 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with ex-flatmates

25 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with aunt

26 March
Daytime: haircut and with F
Nighttime: dinner with F

27 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with KC and M

28 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with F

29 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: with family

30 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with past colleagues

31 March
Daytime: full time job
Nighttime: dinner with current colleagues

1 April
Daytime: Ching Ming
Nighttime: back to Lingnan to present for Mock EGM till 4:30am, 2 april

2 April
back home at 3pm
home

3 April
Daytime: full time job/ preparation
Nighttime: dinner with MF and PC(CC)

4 April
Daytime: Preparation
Nighttime: dinner with C / HKIFF

5 April
Daytime: Preparation/ HKIFF
Nighttime: dinner with P

6 April
Daytime and Nighttime: Preparation/ home

7 April
Daytime: Preparation/ HKIFF
Nighttime: Preparation/ home

8 April:
Daytime: preparation
Nighttime: Leave de FUCKING HELL… … (YOYOYO)